Kuch Luv Jaisa - Part 5

Smruti was sitting on the chair in the balcony of their apartment. It was a cool Sunday evening and the hot coffee in her hand was adding to the spice. A beautiful view of some parts of South Mumbai was visible through the balcony. And she always loved it…to have her coffee while silently observing the beauty of the crowded city.

She was silent. She was thinking about Samrat. It was getting very obvious that he has some feelings for her. Feelings which are beyond a teacher-student relationship. Feelings which make him find comfort in an altogether different relation. But can’t he see the fact that what he is thinking is beyond any possibility? She is a married woman with a four year old kid and also elder to him by almost ten years. In spite of this age difference and in spite of all the knowledge about her personal life, he continued to like her. And that was troubling her.

But there was one bigger thing which was troubling her more. And that was her mere acceptance of his behavior. She was not showing any kind of resistance towards him. She received almost all his calls, replied to all his messages, talked with him like a friend would talk. And all this, in spite of the knowledge that he was getting involved with her. This thing was troubling her. Why wasn’t she resisting? Why wasn’t she giving him clear signals that what he want is mere impossible and would never be a reality?

‘I think a doctor can have answers to almost all the questions of life.’ Dev came in the balcony and stood in front of her. ‘And that is the reason why, you need to tell me what are you thinking and why my dear wife is so puzzled today?’

She laughed. ‘I disagree. Every question doesn’t have an answer. And some questions are better left unanswered. Doctor, too, is a human after all. He can’t have all the answers.’

‘You know, Smruti, how beautiful you look when you smile than when you get immersed in deep thoughts?’ Dev sipped his coffee.

‘Thanks for that compliment. But it's brain. Who other than a psychiatrist can judge well about the functioning of the mind and brain? They have to work, they have to think! You can’t avoid thoughts.’ Smruti kept her mug on the small table near the chair.

‘That is true. But, on a serious note, what happened?’

‘Naah, nothing. Well, I want to tell you something. I might go to Chandigarh and Manali in January. It is our college IV, the Industrial Visit.’

‘Wonderful! So are you asking me for the permission?’ Dev said while smiling.

‘No, Mr. Deshpande. I am just informing you.’ Both smiled. Their conversations usually take a route of a very dramatic tone. And may be that was one of the reasons for their successful camaraderie so far.

‘But for how many days?’

‘May be a week.’

‘So I will have to stay without you for a week.’

‘That must not be a problem for you. You, anyway, love your patients more than me. I am feeling uneasy because I will have to stay without Rhea for a week.’

‘That was such a mean statement.’

‘It was sarcastic too.’ She smiled and winked.

At that very moment, Daaiji came there calling for Smruti. ‘Smruti, your student has come. The same boy…Samrat.’

Smruti got a pinch in her throat. She could not believe what Daaiji was telling her. Samrat had never been to her place before. This was the first time. She felt embarrassed but tried to hide her feelings.

‘Oh, is it? Tell him to have a seat. I will just come.’

Samrat tried to be comfortable in the living room area of Smruti’s apartment. The living room was very spacious and neatly kept. It did not have extra-ordinary interiors but the simplicity and the comfort was making it shine. Samrat saw a small corner which had a book shelf and lying there were plenty of books from computer science and fiction to medical science.

‘It is a mixture of engineering and medicine,’ said Smruti as she and Dev arrived in the living room. She saw Samrat going through the book shelf and observing them very keenly.

‘Sam, he is Dev…Dr. Dev Deshpande and Dev, he is Samrat Joshi, my favorite student.’ Smruti smiled. Samrat felt good on that compliment. Dev and Samrat shook hands. ‘I have heard a lot about you, Mr. Samrat. You are very popular in our family...for all good reasons though!’ Dev spoke keenly.

‘Oh, is it? You must be lying. But if it is true then I think it is my absolute pleasure. And yeah, just call me Sam, sir.’

‘Ok. Even you should call me Dev. 'Sir' makes me feel older. C’mon! I am not that old.’

Everyone started laughing. Daaiji brought some coffee for Samrat.

‘Have it, Sam. And say. How come you are here today?’ Smruti took an opportunity to ask about his surprise visit.

‘I had come to a friend’s place. He stays on the next lane to you. Then I thought, it would be even better if I could meet you and leave. Hope I have not disturbed you guys. It is a Sunday evening, after all and a good time to take rest.’

‘No, man. Not at all. We were just having some coffee and chatting while you came.’ Dev seemed to be impressed with Samrat’s talks. ‘So how is the final year going on? And yes, congratulations first of all! You got placed at Infosys, right?’

‘Yes, sir! Thanks a lot.’

‘No 'sir'!’

‘Ah! Sorry, Dev.’

‘That’s better. So how are the things?’

‘Pretty good. We are enjoying the last year. The seventh semester exams are going to start soon. We have an IV post exams. Did ma’am tell you about it?’

‘Yes, yes. We were talking about it just a few minutes back.’

Dev and Samrat got immersed in a deep conversation then. Somehow, it was making Smruti a bit uncomfortable. She was silently listening to their talks regarding their favorite football clubs, Samrat’s future plans, Dev’s demanding job and much more. She was just silently listening to it.

Rhea came from her friend’s house in the neighborhood. She came and stood near Smruti.

‘Sam, she is Rhea and Rhea, this is Sam. Remember, I told you about my favorite student?’

Samrat pulled Rhea’s soft cheeks. Rhea really liked Samrat. She went and sat beside him.

‘Which standard do you study?’ he asked her.

‘I am in junior KG now,’ she said. ‘This is just her first year at school.’ Smruti added.

Samrat had hit the jackpot. In the first meet itself, he had charmed almost everyone in Smruti’s family. Dev liked the way Samrat spoke. His witty speech and sense of humor did impress Dev. Rhea, too, got fond of Samrat. He dined with the Deshpande family that night. The dinner was really awesome. Samrat was all praise for Daaiji.

Finally, it was the time to leave. Smruti came near the society gate to leave Samrat.

‘It was a real good time for me today.’

‘For us too.’ Smruti said but with least enthusiasm. She was definitely not much comfortable with him getting too friendly with Dev and Rhea.

‘Didn’t you like it?’

‘What?’

‘That I came to your house. I found you a bit uncomfortable while I was talking to Dev.’

‘No, nothing like that.’

‘I understand you, ma’am.’

‘You don’t.’

‘I do. But I think you don’t understand what I think and feel for you.’

Smruti did not know what to say. She paused for a while and said, ‘You are thinking in a very wrong direction, Sam.’

‘I am thinking divine. Love is divine for me.’

‘It is not right. You are foolish. You just met my husband, my daughter. You are ten years younger to me and my student too. Can’t you envisage this reality?’

‘I do.’

‘Then? Why are you getting into things which are not possible?’

‘It is not a question of possibilities. I know how true my feelings are.’

‘Sam, you are losing your mind and yourself.’

‘I do not mind if it is for you.’ He smiled and left from there. Smruti stood there silently, looking at him until he was no more visible. She could not believe that he literally said these things just now. Her heart was beating faster. I don’t mind losing myself for you, he had said. Smruti could have slapped him on his face then and there. However, she didn't do it. Rather, she liked it…liked the way he told her about his feelings…liked the way he stood with pride and confidence, entirely unapologetic about what he is saying. Suddenly, the gap of ten years between them faded away for Smruti.

‘Love is divine. Yes, I am worshipping it!’ was the new status on Samrat’s facebook account. Pooja read it amongst her updates. She was not much surprised but still she decided to call him and ask about it. So far, he has never really hidden anything from her. She was sure that he will definitely tell everything about it to her soon. She called him.

‘Tell me.’

‘Read your status. I need an analysis and justification.’ Pooja said.

Samrat started laughing. Pooja always loved it when he laughed. His mere voice made her go crazy.

‘You know everything. Is anything hidden from you? If not you then who will know it?’

‘I didn't get it. What do you mean?’

‘I will talk to you later. Mom is here. Bye.’

He cut the call. But she got confused. He has never really talked about his feelings for Smruti with her. So what does that meant? You know everything. Is anything hidden from you? If not you then who will know it? What does it indicate?

Was he talking about Smruti, or me? Pooja thought. It can be me. Otherwise, he would have taken Smruti’s name or some hint about the person. What if it is really me? Thoughts started invading her mind and all of sudden she felt like dancing of joy.

She knew that it is yet not clear. But the mere thought of that person being she herself, made her think about him more.

Pichalye dino se…mujhko hua yun…

Khud mein rahun main khoyee…

Tanaha khayalon mein…karti huin baatein…darr hai sune na koi…

Hota hai jaise…nindhon mein bolna…

Baahon mein dolna…aankhon mein tolna…

Hone laga hai…jaane kyun aisa…

Kuch luv jaisa…mujhko ho raha…

She was happy. The destiny, however, was not in her favor. It is a rule of life. You can’t really get everything you want. Loving someone, perhaps, is one of the most dangerous things in life. If you get back the same love then it is a most pleasurable journey of a lifelong romance. But if you not, then it can lead you to darkness…an utter darkness which makes even the silver lining to fade away.