The Catalogue - Part 4

The doorbell rang.

Rhea was having her breakfast. Generally, she and Nishigandha had their breakfast together. But that day, Nishigandha was a bit late. With a cup of tea in her hand and taking a sip of it, Rhea opened the door. It was Devarsh. Rhea did not recognize him but she had heard about him from Nishigandha.

‘Hello. Good morning. I…I am Devarsh. Nishi and I work together at Sunrise.’

‘Oh. Hello! Please do come in.’ Rhea let him inside. ‘Would you have some tea or coffee?’

‘No. Thanks.’ Devarsh sat in the couch in a bit hesitant way. ‘I just had my breakfast. Actually, Nishi is not picking up her phone and we had planned that we would go to office together today.’

‘Oh My God! Let me first check whether she is ready or not. I will bring you some water.’ Rhea went inside to call Nishi. And there she saw Nishi all ready for the day.

‘Someone seems to be very happy today, huh!’ Rhea said as Nishi was getting all decked up in front of the mirror.

Nishi laughed and said, ‘I knew he would come upstairs. Actually I got late yaar. Hence I could not attend his calls. And here he is.’

‘Yes. Yes. I understand.’ Rhea said while Nishi turned back and looked at her. ‘Oh c’mon! No Rhea! He is just a friend.’

‘Wonderful! So he is no more just a colleague, huh? That day you told me that he was a colleague. Well, let me know if you are thinking of promoting him further.’ Rhea kept her teasing act on.

‘Oh! Sure. You are an official match making professional, right? But madam, hold on. There is no assignment for you yet.’ Nishi hugged her and left the room.

While on Devarsh’s bike, Nishi asked him, ‘What was it so important to talk that you messaged me at 3 in the morning?’

Devarsh had messaged her. Nishi, let us go together to the office today. I have something to tell you. May be I will not be able to tell you in the office. I will pick you up at 8.30am. Be ready. See you.

He stopped the bike near a footpath. Nishi could see that he was sweating.

‘Hey, relax. Look at you. Have some water.’ She took the bottle full of cold water from her bag and gave it to him. He drank all the water. Nishi could almost hear his heartbeats. His face was a bit horrified. He was not looking at her eyes but making a constant effort to say something.

Finally he said. ‘I have to tell you something about our office.’

‘What?’

‘I don’t know how to say. But this is dangerous.’

‘Devarsh, can you please get to the point? Just relax and tell me.’

‘Well last year, that is in December 2011, an inhuman incident happened at our office. Have you heard someone by name Pooja Mehta?’

‘Well, not exactly. But somehow I feel I have heard this name.’ She paused for a while. ‘No, Devarsh. I am not able to recollect where I have heard her name. But what about her?’

‘She was raped and murdered in our office by someone from our office.’

‘What?’ Nishi’s face turned red and horrified. ‘What are you saying? And how do you know about it?’

‘Last Saturday, I got a very weird dream. There was a lady but her face was not visible. She was telling me. 

I have been raped and murdered at Sunrise on the 31^st of last December. When all others were enjoying the new year night, I was being assaulted and killed. Can you please help me in punishing the people behind it? I beg you. Please help. They raped me and killed me there. Please help.

I woke up soon after. It was around 2.30 in the clock. Well, at first I thought it was a nightmare. I spent the entire weekend thinking about it. The lady’s voice was quivering. It seemed to be real to me. Her words seemed to be genuine. But I tried to explain myself every time that it was nothing more than a nightmare. And the weekend passed away.

On Monday, I tried to access our directory website. Can you believe this? I found her name in the employee directory. Pooja Mehta.’

Nishi had an extremely calm look on her face.

Devarsh went on. ‘I know Simi from HR. We studied together in school. I met her in the cafeteria and asked her if she could find out some general details of Pooja Mehta. The same evening, she called me and told me that Pooja Mehta is an ex-employee of Sunrise and resigned from her services on December 10, 2011. And that was all she could tell me. She had no more specific details except her department and employee ID.’

Nishi still maintained the calm look.

‘I could not reach Simi at office as she was very busy. You know Nishi, I am not able to sleep at nights. This thing is bothering me. Especially, after I got to know that a woman with the name Pooja Mehta worked at our office. Why will someone with the same name come in my dreams?

I feel that this might be real. I am very confused yaar.’

He looked at her. Seeing her so calm, he said, ‘Please say something yaar.’

Suddenly, Nishi burst into a big laughter. She was laughing continuously like mad. Devarsh just kept looking at her. And Nishi was laughing and laughing.

‘Oh my! What to say Devarsh?! You are simply mad.’

‘So you think all this is a joke. I am doing timepass. Isn’t it?’

Seeing him getting disappointed, Nishi said, ‘Hey, no. I did not mean that. I am not saying that this is a joke. But see, it might be just a nightmare. Or are you sure you were sleeping that night? May be somebody might have played a prank on you.’

‘No. I am pretty sure I was sleeping and I saw that dream. I am not mad to get so bothered.’

‘Then maybe you must have read her name somewhere that day and you heard her in your dreams. It does happen sometimes. The things which we see or hear during the day make an appearance in our dreams when we sleep at night, especially when we are in a deep sleep.’

She tried to calm him. ‘See, calm down. Do not tell about it to anyone. Or you know how people are. They will term you mad. Just stop thinking about all these things. And anyway, such things do not go unnoticed. If such an incident really happened then it would have been a big news. C’mon, it is Sunrise Technologies man!

Just stop thinking about it now. Let us leave. We are already late.’

Devarsh was not convinced. But somehow he tried to show a relaxed expression on his face.

During the lunch time, Nishi was thinking about this morning incident. She could not control her laughter. Radhika, her senior team-mate and she were having lunch together.

‘Hey, what happened? Radhika asked her as she saw Nishi giggling.

‘No. Nothing. Just remembered a funny incident that happened in the morning.’

‘Oh! What was so funny?’

Nishi tried to change the topic and saw Dia coming towards their direction.

‘Hey, Nishi! How are you?’ Dia had applied a lot of make-up that day and Nishi and Radhika could not ignore it. They looked at each other and smiled.

‘I am good Dia. How about you?’ Nishi said.

‘Yes. I am good too. So when are you leaving for New York?’

Nishi knew that Dia would ask her something about New York. She was already very jealous about Nishi’s onsite tour. Dia had joined Sunrise along with Devarsh and Nishi in their graduates’ batch.

‘Well, I am not yet sure. But…’ Nishi was interrupted by Radhika.

‘Next month.’ Radhika filled in the words. Suddenly Dia felt Radhika’s presence and the fact that Nishi was having her lunch with her senior team mate.

‘Oh I am so sorry. Dia, she is Radhika from my team.’ And looking at Radhika, she said, ‘Radhika, she is Dia, we joined together.’

‘Nice to meet you Radhika. Well, Nishi, I would go now. I have to attend a meeting. My team lead is already in a bad mood since morning. See you people. Bye.’ And she went away.

Nishi smiled at Radhika. ‘How do you know that it is next month?’

‘You mean your onsite tour? Well, I had a talk with Singhania this morning.’ Singhania was their Project Manager. ‘He told me that you and Mohit would be leaving for New York in the middle of next month.’

‘That’s nice.’ Nishi smiled.

As she came back to her desk, she got a message on their office messenger from Mohit.

Mohit said: Busy?

Me: No. Why?

Mohit: Can we discuss our travel’s preparations for a while?

Nishi was surprised. The guy who gave her inferior looks the other day was trying to strike out a conversation. Moreover, Nishi was looking really good that day. Thanks to Rhea and her expert guidance, she had started visiting beauty parlors. Nishi inherently looked beautiful, even better than Dia and many of her female office mates. But since everyone knew that Nishi is not originally from Mumbai and from a village of Maharashtra, people started having notions about her. Especially Mohit. But that day was different.

Me: Alright.

Mohit: Ok. Meet me at the couch.

He brought coffee along. And both sat down on the couch. ‘Do you always have coffee after the lunch?’ Nishi asked him.

‘Well, yes. Or else I would just doze off on my desk.’ Both had a brief laugh. Nishi observed that Mohit was behaving really nicely and in a very ‘gentleman’ way with her. Mohit, anyway, looked good and handsome but he had this unnecessary pride about his looks and personality. Surprisingly, that day, he was in a very good mood.

‘Let us get to the point. Well, I have to do a lot of shopping for NYC. Have you done yours?’ He asked.

‘No! Not at all. ‘ She said.

‘Hmm. If you don’t mind then let us go for it this weekend? May be on the evening of Saturday. What do you say?’

She pretended that she was thinking about her Saturday’s plans but in a corner of mind, she was trying to judge what can be the motive behind this gesture!

‘Well yes. I think I am free. But will it be fine if I confirm by Friday evening? I will text you.’

‘Alright. No problems. Since we are going together to NYC, we can jot down the things which we can shop and complete the shopping together that very day.’

‘Yes. That would be better.’

‘Ok. Let me know. I will go on my desk now. There is a meeting with Prakash in a hour.’ Prakash was their Team Lead.

‘Yes, sure.’ Mohit stood up and went away. Nishi kept sitting on the couch. From the location of the couch, Devarsh’s desk was visible. She saw him. He was looking at his computer screen.

It reminded her of the morning ride on his bike and the conversation with him. What a start of the day it was! And she kept thinking and looking at him.

The Catalogue - Part 3

Nishigandha was late for the weekly team meeting by around fifteen minutes. 

Generally, she has never been late. In fact, she was the one who was known for her punctuality. Her team mates used to tease her, nayi hai…fresher hai. Aage aage sikh jayegi. (She is new in the office and a fresher too. She will eventually learn to be late). But such comments never deterred her in any way. She used to remember what her mother had taught her when Nishi was in school. Her school was far away from Nishi’s house. If she missed the bus then she would have to use an auto rickshaw to go to school. And the rickshaw would be an expensive affair for them. And because of this reason, one day her mother had told her, ‘We don’t have a lot of money. Traveling everyday by auto rickshaw is expensive. Try not to miss the bus. It is much cheaper and in our budget.’ From that day itself, Nishi never missed the bus for her school. That brought in a sense of punctuality in her.

But today she was late. And the reason for being late was the local trains. They were late by few minutes. Nishi was new to Mumbai and it would certainly take some time for her to adjust with the train schedules. She was nervous by the thought of telling the truth if her Team Lead or Manager asks for the reason of coming late.

The meeting had already begun. It was a conference call with their team’s counterparts in New York City. The new project had begun in full swing. There was a lot of work to be done. And a resource risk as well since there was a fresher in the team. But Nishi had a good grasping power. She understood the requirements and the necessary knowledge for the project really well.

As she entered the meeting room, her Team Lead looked at her and signaled her to sit. The meeting continued.

At the end, her Team Lead looked at all, especially at Nishi, and said, ‘Two of us will have to visit New York next month. It is very critical to understand the designs and the new requirements by sitting with them and discussing face-to-face.’

Everyone was quiet. The thought of visiting NYC was a feel-good feeling. And most of them guessed that it would be Sameer, the Senior Software Engineer and may be the Team Lead Prakash himself, would go for the same. The team comprised of five members, out of which Sameer who was a senior, Mohit and Radhika who had joined Sunrise about two years ago, the Team Lead, Prakash and Nishi. 

However, the same did not happen. The Manager, Mr. Singhania finally said, ‘Mohit and Nishi have been selected for this first onsite tour of this project. I and Prakash had a lot of discussion on it and finally we could come up with this decision.’

Disappointment! Sameer had almost made up his mind for the onsite tour. He had never got a chance to go onsite through Sunrise earlier. This would have been a golden opportunity as the project had just begun. But he was hugely disappointed when his junior and a fresher were selected for the same. Generally, onsite tours keep on happening in IT companies as per the project requirements. But not even a single one had come his way. And the current one went to his juniors. This thought added to his frustration.

‘But would Nishi be able to handle the work there? She is a fresher and has joined this organization just two months back.’ Sameer tried to intervene.

‘I understand what you are trying to imply. However, I believe, this would be a good opportunity for her to learn and explore this project. She is young and bright. I am sure she will handle it. Moreover, Mohit has a good experience of onsite visits. He would definitely be there for her guidance. We all have to work as a team. Sameer, Prakash and Radhika would have lot of work in Mumbai itself.’

Sameer kept quiet. The news brought a glow on Nishi’s face. Her nervousness about coming late flew away.

It was a feel-good feeling. She had never traveled outside Maharashtra until then. Pune to Malvan, Malvan to Pune and now Mumbai to Malvan and Malvan to Mumbai…that was her only travel map until then. However, now, she would be traveling all the way to the US. Good things come together. New project. The US tour. But is it that simple? Nishi was not aware about the reactions of the people around her.

Later, during the lunch time, she told Durvesh and Dia about her onsite tour. Durvesh was extremely happy on hearing it.

‘You totally rock, girl! Firstly, you got such a wonderful project. And now this onsite visit. Amazing!’ Durvesh’s happiness was visible on his face.

But the same happiness was not present on Dia’s face. She, however, said, ‘Congrats Nishi. You deserve it. But it’s New York! Are you ready for it?’

Durvesh somehow understood that Dia was being jealous.

‘I didn’t get your point. How can one be ready to travel to New York?’ Nishi asked her very innocently.

‘I mean the attire, the accessories and much more. You have to be more fashionable. You have to look rich and glamorous.’ Dia was expressing her knowledge about an American’s looks and lifestyle.

Nishi remained calm for a minute and later spoke, ‘May be you are right. I’ll prepare myself that way.’ Durvesh intervened, ‘Oh, what rubbish! Nishi, you don’t listen to this idiot. C’mon, Dia, she has to look like an IT professional and not like a Bollywood actor.’

‘Durvesh, please don’t talk about the things you are not aware of. IT girls should have that rich look in them. Well, I have been to US twice. I have seen it all. Anyway, it’s completely your choice.’ Dia said so and got up from the table.

Nishi kept thinking about what Dia had said. Durvesh tried to comfort her, ‘don’t give much importance to what she is saying. She has been born rich and has a fashion freaky attitude like a model. She has always stayed in air. You are different. You look really good in your simple attire. You be the same there as well. Don’t spend much on unnecessary things.’

Nishi was listening to what Durvesh was saying but the thought of what Dia had said still floated in her mind.

Later, while getting fresh in the wash room, she sprinkled some water on her face. While she dried her face with towel and saw herself in the mirror in front of her, she admired her beauty, her bright face. However, she overheard Dia leaving the wash room and telling her friends, ‘You need some fashion sense to travel abroad, especially in the US. And it is much required if you are working in the corporate world. You need to look par with your US counterparts. It is not like clubbing hair in pony tails and run here and there like you did in your villages. Oh, so middle class mentality!’

The words hit Nishi like a slap on her face. She definitely felt bad by those comments. She looked at her face again. She noticed a tear rolling down her right eye.

Before leaving the office in the evening, Mohit came to Nishi’s desk. She was about to leave. She saw Mohit coming her way and stood up.

Mohit was an extremely good looking and handsome man. And he knew he looked good and was extremely proud of it. A 25 years-old guy and a bachelor, Mohit Tripathi had been working at Sunrise for about two years. He was intelligent but he was not amongst those down-to-earth guys like Durvesh or even the other men Nishi knew in her office.

‘Listen, your VISA interview is scheduled for next week. Do you have a passport?’

‘No. I don’t!’

‘What?’ His voice rose. But he calmed down as Nishi said, ‘I have applied for passport the day I came in Mumbai. I have been told that it is ready. I will be getting it in two or three days.’

‘Ok. Then be ready with your documents for VISA interview next week.’ He said, looked at her in a disgusting way and went away.

While leaving the corridors of the floor towards the office lift, Nishi was stumped as she heard, ‘What a stupid girl she is! She doesn’t even have a passport and wants to go the US. What kinds of people are joining Sunrise these days?’ Mohit was talking to his friend. But as he entered the lift, he saw Nishi behind. Nishi stood still and did not enter the lift while Mohit was standing inside the lift. The lift doors closed as both of them kept looking at each other. Somehow, the feeling that she heard what he had said made him uncomfortable while looking at her.

Dia’s comments during the lunch break and now Mohit speaking this way made the day one of the worst days of her life so far. There was a happiness that she would be going to US soon but these comments and the attitude of some people towards her made her feel extremely sick.

Nishi was beautiful but she had come from a village and not born and brought up in a city. A village girl reaching these heights was a cause of envy for many.

Nishi stood still in the lounge. As the lift came up again and the doors opened for her to enter, she read a wall frame put up near the lounge. It was for the new recruits. It read, This is just the beginning! Welcome.

The words ceased to go away from her thoughts.

The Catalogue - Part 2

‘Hello, Mom’.

‘Yes, Nishi beta. Tell me. How is it going? How are you?’

‘Aayi, I am all good.’ Aayi was the Marathi word for mother and Nishigandha had always referred to her mom using the same word.

‘I am all good, Aayi. Everything is fine here. Today is Sunday. So I and Rhea will be cooking some real good food for lunch.’ Rhea was Nishigandha’s room-mate at her flat in Kandivali, a crowded suburb in Mumbai.

‘That’s good. Eat good food beta. Don’t neglect your health at all. And how was the first week at office? How are the people?’

‘All is really good Aayi. Don’t worry. My team has many people who are very senior to me and highly experienced. I am sure I will get to learn a lot.’

‘Ok. And will they give you leaves easily?’

Nishi smiled. Her mother could sense her warm smile even on the call.

‘Yes Aayi. Don’t worry about it. I will certainly get leave whenever it is required.’ Nishi tried to explain her mother. She could feel that her mother was missing her a lot.

‘Ok Nishi. Take good care. Do well in your work. You have always been a winner in all walks of your life. Just keep it up. Don’t worry about us. I and your Baba are very proud of you. And don’t waste money in calling us every now and then. One call per week would be fine. Save money for yourself. Did you get my point?’

‘Oh yes, Aayi. Absolutely.’

The call ended. The mother had tears in her eyes. Her only daughter was far from her and staying in a big city like Mumbai. The thought had always troubled her. But she never wanted to discourage her child. The worry was not about her staying away from her daughter. The worry was about Nishi’s journey in Mumbai. In four years at Pune, Nishi was a student and there was Nishi’s aunt, her mother’s sister, to look after her. Even though Nishi stayed at girl's hostel, the aunt used to call her every now and then. But today, she is all alone in Mumbai.

When Nishi came home with some fruits she had bought from the market, she saw Rhea cooking in the kitchen.

‘Hey baby, come. Smell. I am making your favorite pizza.’ Rhea called from the kitchen. She was wearing a round-neck shirt and a half pant while Nishigandha was in a salwaar kameez, a traditional Indian wear for girls.

‘Oh god. Rhea, there was no need for it, dear.’ She spoke as she headed to the kitchen.

‘Absolutely, there is! I know how to cook pizzas. And you love pizzas. So here I am, cooking one for you. Of course, for me too!’

Nishi heard Rhea’s mobile phone ringing in her bedroom. When Rhea was back in the kitchen after attending the call, Nishi asked, ‘Rhea, if you want to go out somewhere, you please go. It’s ok. I will cook the food.’

‘Hey girl, if I want to go out I will definitely go. Don’t worry about it. Remember, we had discussed this on the very first day itself. There won’t be any formalities. We both will guard each other’s space and freedom. As simple as that!’

‘Hmm.’ Nishi smiled.

‘It was Jai. He is the one who had joined with me.’ Rhea was telling her about the call.

‘Ohk. Someone has started getting calls from office guys already.’ Nishi teased Rhea.

‘Yes. He is really hot. Greek-god looks. He is keeping a track on me since the day one.’ She winked and both started laughing and gave a high-five to each other.

Rhea was way different personality than Nishigandha. Rhea was more of a Mumbai’s girl. She was bolder and a complete extrovert. Flirting with guys was her pastime. But at the same time, she was a dominant, strong woman. She had once slapped a guy hard in her junior college when he had tried to touch her college friend in an inappropriate way. She had abused him so much that the guy was never seen in the college after that day.

She was a Christian by religion and her father, Peter D’souza stayed in Goa. Rhea had been placed at a media and event organizing firm at Andheri in Mumbai.

She had met Nishigandha through a mutual friend who was studying with Nishigandha at her Pune’s Engineering College. It was financially convenient for both the girls to share the apartment which they were currently staying at Kandivali.

Nishigandha’s professional life was speeding fast. The training was over and she had started working on a project. Her manager and the team lead had all good things to say about her. Her team had ten members out of which one was Durvesh, a guy who had joined the team with her.

The other day, while she was going through some Java code which her team lead had given her, Durvesh pinged her on their internal messenger.

Durvesh: Coffee?

Nishigandha: Sure. Two minutes.

Both were sitting in the spacious cafeteria of Sunrise Technologies Development’s Center’s wing. There were many people around. Nishi was looking out from the window at the sky.

‘It seems it would rain today.’ She said.

‘Yes, even I think so.' He said. He looked at her and asked, ‘Nishi, don’t you miss your parents?’

‘Of course, I do, Devarsh. But I am now very well used to staying away from them. Probably, my life during engineering days at Pune had taught me that. You can't always stay with your parents. Your studies or work or marriage will take you away from them some day or the other, especially if it's a girl.’ She spoke confidently as she drank all her coffee.

‘That’s good. The other girls should actually learn a thing or two from you.’

Nisha laughed. ‘Forget it. So what’s your plan for this weekend?’

‘We have a football match at a ground near my residence. It would be interesting.’

‘Oh, that’s good.’

‘What else to do? I don’t have a girlfriend to hang out with!’ Devarsh winked at Nishi. She was looking admiringly beautiful in the formal attire, he thought.

‘Oh really? Then what have you done all your life so far? Shame on you!’ She spoke and laughed and left from there.

Devarsh kept on looking at her direction.

‘True. Let’s see what’s in store for me ahead!’ He thought.

As she returned to her work desk, a surprise was waiting for her. Her team lead had dropped in a message to see him before she leaves for the day. As she went at his cubicle, she got the news from him. She was the one amongst the five-member team that would be working on a U.S. based project from the subsequent week. And that would imply frequent journeys to Denver and NYC in U.S. She was the only junior who got an opportunity to be a part of the team.

Nishi was very happy with this news. On her way back to her apartment, she got a message from Devarsh, ‘Congratulations!’

Rhea treated her with some Chinese food that night.

Before sleeping, she came to Rhea’s room to search for a novel which she had kept in her room the previous night. Rhea was watching a movie on her laptop in the living room. Nishi could not find the book on the desk. As she opened her cupboard and started searching, Rhea’s bag fell down and things inside the bag were all over the floor.

Nishi sat down to put everything inside. But, one of the things caught her attention. She was shocked. It was a pack of condoms.

She knew the fact that Rhea was way too ahead than her in many facets of life. But she had not known this aspect of Rhea. However, it is Rhea’s life, she thought. She should not interfere with it.

However, she kept on thinking about it later that night.

Nishi had a habit to write her daily dairy before sleeping. She would always make it a point to fill it every night. Even if it is a one line thing to write, she never skipped writing it. Tonight, she wrote about her new project and how happy Rhea was for her. At the end, she wrote about the new discovery which she had found, about her room-mate.

She looked out of the window. It was a full moon that night, shining. Today witnessed a small but first of the successes of her professional life. She looked back at her diary and ended the page with her signature.

Nishigandha Dixit.

The Catalogue - Part 1

‘The train arriving on platform number two is a 7.51 am fast train for Churchgate.’

An announcement in a melodious voice was made at the Kandivali station and repeated the same in Marathi and Hindi. The platform was flooded by the people. It was the beginning of a busy day for the people in the city of Mumbai. The people were in a hurry to catch the trains on time. The trains were full with an abundance of the city dwellers.

‘Where will the ladies’ coach arrive?’ 

A lady, in a formal shirt and trousers, was standing with a bit of confusion on her face. With tightly clutched hair at her back, she stood with a bag on her shoulders and an umbrella in her right hand. She was fair and her face had an inherent charming appeal to it. She looked extremely beautiful amongst numerous ladies standing on the platform to catch the train.

‘Here. Just stand here. Ladies’ coach will come here itself.’ Another lady standing next to her told her. Hearing that, she stood still and started looking at the direction of the train. Her eyes were sparkling grey. They looked lively on her beautiful face. She wore a confused look at the moment. She was continuously looking for the arrival of the train. With another glance, she looked around her. ‘So many people’, she thought. Will I get to board the train?

She looked at her watch. It was 8.00 am. She was supposed to reach her office at Bandra by 9.00 am. Somehow she thought she would be late. The train has not arrived yet. And the platform is full with the people. What if I get late today? What impression will it leave for a new joinee and that too a fresher, to be late to the office on the very first day?

And the train arrived. People literally jumped inside. She was fortunate enough to somehow get in. It took around forty minutes to reach the Bandra station. As she walked out of the station, many eyes, especially of men, followed her. She had a slim posture and looked extremely fit. If Kareena Kapoor had brought in the concept of size zero in India then here was a beautiful example of the same. She was, probably, accustomed to the men-staring-at-her thing. Men, anyway, keep looking at each and every lady passing by. And here was a 20-something, beautiful, formally dressed, charming lady walking on the streets of Bandra.

The city is full of people, she thought. A group of pigeons, she saw, flew out into the sky, their wings making the sound of wind; they criss-crossed each other and made for the west. There was an extraordinary sky today: a bright, deep blue like butterfly wing, with streaks of orange that reached towards the west; it was framed by one of the arches. The arrival of monsoons was evident since there were dark clouds arriving from the west. No one seemed to have noticed; there were trains to be caught. But the lady observed the beauty of the sky and smiled.

It was still fifteen more minutes for 9.00 am. As she walked along the road, she looked straight and around. The city, she observed, was moving very fast. The vehicles, the people, the shop keepers, the hawkers, everyone seemed to be in a hurry to reach their destinations. It was not that they were completely indifferent towards others around but they hardly cared for anything. It echoed their will to start a yet another busy day in the commercial capital of the country.

All of a sudden, she remembered the day when she was at her home at Malvan, a small town in the Konkan area of Maharashtra. A friend, Sakshi had called her. ‘Nishi, yes, you!! You have cracked Sunrise Technologies. They have selected only you. Congratulations!!!’ The news had spread like fire. Her mother was very proud of her. With tears in her eyes, she had kissed her forehead and said, ‘Your father would have been so proud today.’

Malvan was a growing town along the western coast of Maharashtra. It belonged to the Konkan belt of the Western part of India. Nishi had graduated with a Computer Engineering degree from the University of Pune, the city where she had spent four years of her life in a girls’ hostel. She was born and brought up at Malvan. Her grandmother was a teacher at a school in the village. The old lady always wanted her granddaughter to study further and become highly successful in her life. She was a prime trigger in sending Nishi to Pune from Konkan for her further studies post her twelfth standard. And today, her granddaughter was beginning a new corporate life in the city of Mumbai.

She looked at her watch again. It was ten minutes to go for 9.00 am. ‘Bandra Kurla Complex’, she asked the auto-rickshaw driver. The driver nodded and she sat in. As the rickshaw drove her along the road, she looked out. The wind was mesmerizing and chilling. It heralded the beginning of the monsoons. The air, she thought, was bringing in a breeze of hope and spirit for her. She simply fell in love with the weather.

As she entered the entrance of Sunrise Technologies, she was asked for her identity card. ‘New joinee’, she said. The security guard performed the security check and let her in. She walked in the direction of her office. There were plenty of formally attired men and women walking around; some were simply walking, some were in BMWs and the other cars, while some in auto-rickshaws. The air had a corporate feel in it. She was not nervous at all.

The day, after all, had finally arrived for her. As she took the turn to another entrance, there appeared the huge building. On top of it was written in bold letters, with a logo, SUNRISE TECHNOLOGIES.

Sunrise Technologies was one of the top notch IT Companies in India and rated extensively in the top five. Over the years, it had brought in a lot of outsourcing projects for the Indian IT sector and became one of the premier IT service organizations of India. Getting a job at Sunrise was a golden opportunity, be it for a fresher or an experienced professional.

She looked at the poster and the letters. She stood there for a while. The words signaled the beginning of a new phase in her life. She was excited, very excited. There were abundant hopes in her eyes. There were many dreams to reach the top, to become highly successful. There were many plans and ideas. Finally her knowledge of computers and programming was about to get implemented. She always wanted to be a Software Engineer. She had high ambitions in the field of software development and the path was about to begin. She was beaming with pride.

She signed in at the security office of the main building. The man at the counter couldn’t pronounce her name right. He read it out. ‘Nishi...what?’ he asked.

‘It’s Nishigandha. Nishigandha Dixit.’

Kuch Luv Jaisa - Part 10

It was the midnight. Moonlight was spread in the darkness of the room. Smruti was not able to sleep though. She was trying hard but she couldn’t. Her conscience was constantly fighting with her mind, soul and body.

She knew what to do now. She had realized her journey ahead. And that was the most difficult part for her to accept. Such a difficult crossroad, she thought.

She had decided to part away from her husband and her daughter. Her mind was filled with numerous thoughts. She felt that it would absolutely unfair on her part to lead a peaceful, married life with Dev thereafter. He had accepted her but deep down, within his soul, he was hurt and cheated.

The stars were invisible in the moonlit night. One day or the other, the brightness of the brightest star will fade away. That is their destiny. She saw herself in the mirror. Even her beauty will disappear with age. Not only her beauty but even she might die one day. That’s inevitable.

But today, she could be doing injustice not only with her husband and daughter by staying with them but also with her own self. She knew that she loved Samrat. But then, living a life with him would be practically impossible. Her love for Samrat was like a fish in a fish tank. We never let the fish come out of the tank because we fear that doing this might affect his life. Hence, we care for him and feed him. We love him.

But then would it be possible for her to forget Dev and Rhea? Absolutely not. It will be extremely difficult. I think that will be the best punishment for me, she thought.

Yes, Dev didn’t punish me. But I will punish myself. It is the only way for me to punish myself for the mistake I have done. But was it really a mistake? Is loving someone, after marriage, a mistake?

She had no answers for the innumerable questions she had in her mind.

She packed her bag and belongings. I have to live this life myself. Alone. That’s my punishment. I don’t deserve to be with Dev. He has been a God for me. Even God has his ways of punishing us. But Dev accepted me. No, this is not right. I don’t deserve this. She was constantly talking to herself.

Every moment was passing by like a phase for her. But the more she thought of the path she had chosen, the closer she came to her inner soul. It might be like running away from the reality, but sometimes, that’s the best possible path.

She looked at Dev. He was asleep. Tears came down her cheeks. She wiped them off. She wrote on the notepad, on the desk near to their bed.

I have chosen the last option which you had told me. No, I am not going out with Samrat. I think I don’t deserve to be even with him, just as with you.

I know I have loved a man, other than you. I don’t know how it happened. But it was love. We not only shared our bodies but also our souls. However, I think that’s the biggest mistake I have done in my life.

I loved you not just because you are my husband. I loved you as a man in my life, as a person who I have always admired. And I will always do so.

But I have betrayed your trust, your love. I will not apologize as I think I have lost the right to do so. But I will just tell you that don’t be so nice with the people you love. They don’t deserve your love and affection. Especially, me.

I don’t know where I am heading. But I have decided to go on a path that gives me peace. Staying with you and Rhea would be an injustice to both of you.

I also know that this decision of mine would be selfish. Because I know Rhea needs me just as you. But I believe this is the best punishment I can get for my deeds. That’s my way to forgive myself and bring me closer to my own self.

As for Rhea, I know you will always be there for her. You are free to love and marry again someone…may be a person who loves you the same way you loved me.

If possible, in life ahead, at least for a moment, do forgive me for taking this step.

Take care and lots of love to Rhea.

Smruti

She went to Rhea’s room. She was sleeping beside Daaiji. Smruti kissed her gently on her forehead. It reminded her of all those beautiful moments she had shared with her lovely daughter.

With a heavy heart, she left the house.

The next morning, Samrat and Kunal were waiting at the Wadala Police Station, to get the permission to meet Pooja once.

After about an hour later, the inspector told them, ‘Only one person can meet.’

Kunal signaled Samrat to go and meet Pooja. Samrat went in.             

Pooja was sitting on a chair beside a wooden table. She had a serene look on her face. Her eyeballs were transfixed at something outside the window as she sat on the chair. She had not shown any emotions on her face while aiming at Rajashri or while revealing the real truth to Dev. Her emotions had all dried up.

The only thing which she kept thinking was about Samrat’s safety. Her world had no more meaning left. She had lost herself completely to her selfless love for Samrat.

Samrat was the only name which she spoke of when someone asked her about how she was.

Samrat came in. He looked at her face.

For a moment, he felt utterly helpless. Pooja was not only his best friend but also someone who was the reason behind his success until their graduation. Both of them were always inseparable.

But not any more. Tears came through his eyes.

How could I never understand that she has started loving me, he thought. Never did she make me feel that she loves me so much. Instead she always did what I wished for. She brought me closer to Smruti ma’am. And the murder.

The thought made him more nervous.

He went ahead and sat in front of her. She looked at him.

For the first time after all the flurry of incidents, she started crying like a small baby. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she saw him. Samrat held her face to wipe her tears. It didn’t help. She was crying and crying.

‘Don’t cry so much. There won’t be any more tears left with you then.’

She looked at him again.

‘I am sorry, Sam. I shouldn’t have done this. I shouldn’t have.’

‘Oh, stop it. I am not here for any explanation. I don’t need it.’

‘But I want to say. Don’t stop me today or else I will die with so many things hidden inside me.’

Samrat kept looking at her. He held her hands. ‘Ok. Say what you want to say.’

‘Sam, I don’t know what exactly happened to me but I couldn’t see Rajashri knowing everything and bursting out with anger. I felt that if she tells any one person about it then it would spread like anything. I never wanted it.’

‘I wanted you and Smruti ma’am to have your life in peace. I wanted you to get her.’

‘Why didn’t you ever tell me that’, he said nervously, ‘that you loved me so much? Why did you hide your feelings? It means you never really considered me as your best friend.’

‘Yes, you are right. I never considered you as my best friend. I considered you as my God.’

He kept looking at her as she spoke.

‘I loved you, Sam. But I knew that this love had no meaning. You never had the same feelings for me. You had only one name in your mind and that was Smruti.’

‘But I never felt that I should try to gain you in my life by any means. Loving someone doesn’t always mean gaining and achieving that person in your life. For me, it has always been like seeing that person happy. Then it doesn’t matter whether he is aware of my love or not.’

‘I used to die every moment when you used to express your love for Smruti ma’am in front of me. But somehow I used to explain myself that what I am thinking is not possible. I should not love you so much and never tell you about it.’

‘I always wanted to see you happy. I would, in fact, love to see you getting her in your life, if it is possible by any ways. Your happiness is the key of my life.’

‘Anyway my life has messed up now. I will never be able to forgive myself for bringing Rajashri into all this. I have to pay the costs of her life.’ She started crying more while thinking of Rajashri.

Samrat was short of words. But finally, he spoke and told her the news which he had come to give her.

‘Yes, you need to be punished. And me too.’

‘Why you?’

‘Because even I am equally responsible for all this. In fact, I am the sole responsible person for this mess in your and Smruti’s life. I am responsible for Rajashri’s death.’

‘I know I loved Smruti but I shouldn’t have spoiled her life. I have broken her marriage.’

‘But I don’t want to commit any further mistakes. Smruti has resigned from QIT and she has messaged me that she never wants to see me again.’

Pooja had a shocked expression on her face.

‘I tried to reach her but she didn’t pick up my call. Later I heard that her cell was switched off.’

‘So? Now what?’

‘Now…nothing.’

‘Don’t you want to get her in your life?’

‘It will be like screwing things further. She has shed enough tears because of me. I don’t want to see her in more trouble.’

‘So will you never meet her again? How will you live without her?’

‘I don’t know.’

Both of them kept looking at each other. He finally said, ‘Will you help me to live then?’

‘Huh? What do you mean?’

He smiled a bit. ‘I mean, will you help me in living this life? Won’t you help your God in this?’

‘And how can I do that?’

‘By being mine forever.’

Pooja didn’t know what to say further. Before she said anything, he asked her, ‘Will you marry me?’

Life, sometimes, has the most unusual way of bestowing things on you. This was a very unusual moment for both of them. It was, however, destined to happen.

‘But you don’t even love me, Sam. What’s the use of us being together?’

‘You love me. And that’s enough for me to be with you. And then it is always better to live a life with someone who loves you more than you love that person, isn’t it?’

Pooja’s joy knew no bounds. However, she knew that the things would be difficult.

‘Why do you want to punish yourself, Sam? And then I don’t know how and when I will come out of this case.’

‘Don’t worry about it. I will wait for you. I am not saying that I have stopped loving Smruti anymore. But some things are just not possible in our lives. She came like a phase and left. That was love for sure. Not just lust. However, now I have only memories. That’s it.’

‘Mom and your parents are trying for your bail and you might soon come out from here. Yes, the case will continue. But then would you mind if I am with you throughout this ordeal?’

He winked and she smiled.

‘Are you sure?’ She asked.

‘Yes.’ He said and asked her, ‘What about you?’

Both burst into laughter. 

Somehow, Kunal got the permission and came in. Both of them saw him. He had a wide smile on his face.

‘Congrats!’ he said, ‘but a very unusual place to ask a girl out, Sam!’

They were all smiles.

And this was a beginning of a new phase in their lives. Samrat, certainly, would never be able to love Pooja the way he had loved Smruti. But, he would live a satisfied life as he would have a partner who loves him more than anyone else in the world.

Life is all about permutations and combinations of the moments. Each moment sprawls a new challenge in front of us and we have to either live it or leave it. It is better to live it than leave it because living the moment will only help you to live the life ahead. Yes, a beautiful life!

A couple of months later, Smruti goes back to her home. It is Daaiji who convinces her and brings her back. And Rhea gets her mother back. But the distance which had been created between Smruti and Dev would, perhaps, never be lessened anytime in future.

Memories, however, remain. Even today, a moment does come and remind both of them, Smruti and Samrat, of the relation they had shared. But, even today, they can’t describe it. They can call it something like love…Kuch Luv Jaisaa…