The Salamander Factor - Part 5

The message alert tone on her mobile phone woke her up.

Smruti was in deep sleep. She felt fresh and pleasant as she woke up. She read the message on her phone. It was sent to her by Nitisha, Samrat’s mother.

Come home as soon as you read this message.

Smruti had a smile on her face. The memories of previous night flashed in front of her. Her arrival to India and visiting Samrat’s house, she finding the small paper written with “Salamander” on it, her meeting with Randeep, Randeep revealing her about his love for her, his revelations about his attraction for Samrat, Randeep getting a message from an unknown number about return of Salamander, and Samrat’s sudden arrival. Nothing made sense to her. But everything was a bit unusual, she thought. Nevertheless, Samrat’s return has filled the vacuum which existed earlier in her life. Nitisha aunty must be dancing with joy to see her son back, she thought. Smruti was very excited to meet her.

Randeep can keep you happy. Samrat had told her the previous night.

She kept thinking about the previous night and her phone rang. It was Randeep.

“Good morning, Randeep”, she received the call.

“Hey! A very good morning. I am coming there to pick you up.” Randeep said.

“Oh! okay. So even you have got Nitisha aunty’s message. Isn’t it?” Smruti asked him.

“Yes. That’s why I got fresh and left home soon after I read the message. I will reach there within half an hour. Be ready.” Randeep said and cut the call.

He was driving his car amidst the peak hours’ traffic of Mumbai. Even he was feeling really fresh and pleasant. The night was so special, he thought. Samrat’s return had brought freshness to their life. Moreover, Smruti was back in his life. Ask her out soon. I am sure you will keep her happy forever. Samrat had told him last night.

Suddenly, he remembered the day when he was in Samrat’s house. He wanted to know the reason behind Samrat’s calling himself “Salamander”.

“Well, I simply love the creature. There is a mystic appeal to it.” Samrat had replied.

“What mystic appeal are you talking about? It is simply a form of a lizard. And its organs grow if you cut them, right?” Randeep had laughed at him.

“I am not joking. And you are right. Salamander is a special kind of a lizard. Its limbs, tails and other organs grow back if you cut them. I believe Salamander is one of the most powerful creatures. I am enamored by its mystery. I am soon going to travel to the north of India where it is found in certain areas. I want to get hold of one.”

“Your fascination for salamander doesn’t make any sense to me.” Randeep said.

As he spoke, Samrat was sketching salamander on a white paper. “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. It makes a lot of sense to me. Just call me Salamander. I love the name. I love the mystery.” Samrat winked as he looked up and then again began sketching.

“We will call you Sally. It sounds sweeter and even more mysterious.” Smruti entered and gave a high-fi to Randeep.

“Oh, yes. Sally sounds good too. I don’t mind.” Samrat winked at her.

Suddenly, the cars and buses started honking horns together. The signal was green and Randeep had not noticed it. His thoughts transfixed him to a different world. He started the car to leave for Smruti’s house.

The morning was pleasant. However, it was a cloudy and windy day. The dark clouds had covered the sky. It would rain any time. This unexpected change in the weather made the day look less bright but pleasant.

Randeep and Smruti reached Samrat’s residence. They figured out that there was lot of chaos near the gate of Samrat’s apartment building. Smruti saw a police van parked on the opposite side. While Randeep parked their car, she said, “I am feeling a bit uneasy. Why are so many people present here?”

“Probably, to meet Samrat.” Randeep jokingly said as he came out of the car.

“But what is the police van doing here?” Smruti got nervous.

“Chill. Something must have happened. Let’s go upstairs and meet Samrat first.” Randeep said and they walked their way inside through the main gate.

As they reached Samrat’s residence, they found lot of people inside the house. Samrat’s dad was talking to some police officials. There were people standing and listening and talking. Smruti and Randeep looked at each other. Smruti got extremely nervous after seeing all this chaos. By now, even Randeep was feeling confused and uneasy.

“Let’s go to Samrat’s room.” Randeep said and held Smruti’s hand and took her towards Samrat’s room.

Inside Samrat’s room, Nitisha aunty and two other women were sitting on the bed. Nitisha aunty had tears in her eyes. Smruti and Randeep were unable to comprehend anything. The other women left the room so that Smruti and Randeep could sit and talk. Nitisha asked both of them to sit beside her.

“What’s going on, aunty?” Smruti asked her. Nitisha suddenly started crying profusely. Smruti had never seen her crying so much. She hugged Smruti and kept crying.

Smruti kept looking at Randeep. Randeep’s jaws had dropped. He became very nervous by then. Smruti tried to console Nitisha. “Aunty, please stop crying. For God’s sake, stop crying.”

Randeep asked her, “Aunty, please tell us what happened? Why are so many people here? We are not able to understand anything.”

Nitisha drank some water and started speaking.

“I was trying to call both of you last night. But none of your phones were available. They were switched off.”

“Last night after you left” Nitisha said while looking at Smruti, “we got intimated by Police that they found dead body of Samrat in Darjeeling around five days back. They were not able to investigate the identity of the dead body until last evening. Samrat had met with an accident in Darjeeling five days back at night. So severe was the accident that his face was unrecognizable. A truck, probably, hit him hard and he was thrown in a valley. The police could reach the spot after almost eight hours as the incident occurred at night.”

Smruti and Randeep were numb for few moments. None of them could speak a word. They kept looking at each other. 

Samrat was dead five days back. Then who was the one who met us last night? Who made us smile again? Who brought us closer to each other? Who made us relive those moments? They were numb. Shocked and frozen.

“I was trying to call you. But none of you were reachable. I couldn’t sleep the whole night.” Nitisha said and tears rolled down her face again. “There is no other grief for a mother than seeing the dead body of her own son. What’s the purpose of my life now?” Nitisha cried and cried.

Smruti and Randeep were silent. Smruti stood up and went near the window. The winds were blowing strong and the sky was covered with many dark clouds now.

Randeep loves you a lot. He will always keep you happy. She remembered the moments of the previous night.

Randeep was still numb. You can ask her out now. I want to see both of you together. He remembered the previous night too.

He came near the window and stood beside Smruti.

The cloudy winds gave way for the rains. Smruti kept her head on Randeep’s shoulders. Tears flooded her eyes. Randeep held her tight and cried too. They kept looking outside the window.

And then the rains stopped. The sky was clear and bright now, probably heralded a new dawn of the day.

The Salamander Factor - Part 4

They laughed together. They teased each other. They hugged each other. They were one, in unison, breathing the same energy and spreading happiness and positivity.

Randeep, Smruti and Samrat had come together after two years. They started from where they had left. The energy was still the same. The laughter, the jokes, the connection of minds and thoughts, nothing was changed. Samrat’s return had brought back the lost era of life-lasting memories.

It was 1.00 am in the morning. The night sky was looking pleasant. There was a restaurant at Bandra which was still open due to the occasion of Diwali. Randeep, Smruti and Samrat went inside and ordered a cake to celebrate Samrat’s return.

“I cannot still believe that you are back, Sally.” Smruti said as she kept looking at Samrat.

“Did you all think I would never come? I cannot leave you all so easily.” Samrat spoke as he sipped some water.

“On a serious note, where were you? You have no idea about the chaos which you have created here in these two years. Where have you been, Sally?” Randeep asked Samrat.

“Well, why do we even care about it? Does it really matter? What matters is that we are here together at this moment.” Samrat had a pleasant smile while talking. He removed his jacket and kept on the table.

“It definitely matters. We need to know where you were.” Smruti said with a bit stern look on her face.

Samrat kept quiet. The waiter brought the cake and kept on their table. He also brought three Italian pasta dishes.

“This one is for Samrat.” Smruti kept the dish with the creamy pasta in front of Samrat. She knew that Samrat had always liked the creamy pasta. Samrat looked at her and smiled. She smiled back.

Randeep noticed this exchange of smiles. He kept quiet. He got a feeling that Samrat was talking very less with him.

“Well, I was on a world tour, exploring the world and myself too. I am sure that you know that I want to travel the globe. I was doing that only. Moreover, I wanted to be with myself. I wanted to have my own space. I wanted to discover myself in a way that I feel confident enough to live the life further. Before leaving, I was all alone. You had left by then.” Samrat spoke while looking at Smruti. “And you got busy in your clinic. Who was I supposed to talk with?”

Smruti and Randeep looked at each other and then looked at Samrat.

“I am not blaming you guys. Such things are bound to happen. That’s why I don’t like being friends with people that easily. People eventually part ways. I don’t like it. If you cannot be with me for lifetime then what is the use of such a friendship?”

Samrat was speaking softly but pleasantly.

“I relish all the moments which we have spent together. Smruti, I was in Kenya for a week. There are myriad places in Kenya which you would love to visit. And Randeep, Darjeeling is beautiful. I just hope we could have gone there together some day. But wherever I went, I carried both of you together with me in my mind. I missed you all surely. But your memories sufficed for me.”

Randeep asked him, “You could have just asked me. Why didn’t you tell anyone that you are leaving? Do you even know how disturbed Nitisha aunty was?”

Samrat kept quiet. Randeep stood up and went outside the restaurant and started having a joint of smoke.

“Samrat, the things were very difficult here. I came to Mumbai today itself. Mom told me everything. They tried every possible way to reach you. Newspapers, police, everything. Nitisha aunty suffered a lot. I was not here so I didn’t experience it a lot. But mom told me that Randeep was broken completely. He had even stopped eating food. Mom told me that he used to cry a lot.” Samrat couldn’t meet her eyes as she spoke.

“Sally, he loves you.”

“No. He loves you, Smruti. Yes, he loves me too. But is it of any use? The fact is that he loves you and has always loved you a lot. I have been with him every single moment since we met. His eyes cannot hide anything from me. With me, it was a different equation. But he had always loved you from whole of his heart.”

Smruti had tears now. Samrat held her hand tight.

“Smruti, I know, somewhere you loved me. Am I right?”

She looked up at him. Samrat wiped her tears.

“You never told me. I had always observed it. It is better to say some things on the right time. Otherwise, it is too late.” Samrat said.

“Why? You have come back now. Can’t I tell you now?” Tears were flowing through her eyes as she spoke.

“You can. But it is too late now.”

“Why?” Smruti asked. But Samrat saw Randeep coming inside the restaurant towards them.

“Randeep can keep you happy. Believe me. He loves you a lot.” Samrat paused as Randeep came near the table. Smruti wiped her eyes off so as to not letting Randeep know about anything.

“Do you want to smoke?” Randeep asked him.

“I will be right back. Excuse me.” Smruti stood up and left towards the washroom. Meanwhile Samrat and Randeep stood outside the restaurant. Samrat was not smoking but giving company to Randeep for another joint of smoke.

The air was cooler than before. There was an awkward silence between them. But Samrat asked him, “How is your clinic? Guess you have lot of patients lately, right?”

“Yes. I keep myself busy.”

“It is good to be busy. But then you should relax your mind also. Well, Smruti has come back now. You have opportunity to ask her out.” Samrat looked at him and winked with a smile.

Randeep smiled too. “She will never accept me, especially after knowing that I have such a mess of feelings in my mind. And then she loved you.” He said.

“You love her more than anyone else, Randeep. And then you both are such a cute couple. I am sure she will understand. Bygones are bygones. You have to ask her out man.” Samrat said.

“I don’t know. I will try but I am not sure. Do you think she will be happy with me?”

“Yes. I know both of you more than you both know yourselves. She will be very happy with you. You can give her all the happiness in the world, brother.”

Randeep looked at Samrat. “What about you, Sally?”

“What about me?”

“You had loved her, right?”

Samrat smiled. “Don’t think about me. I am all fine and happy with this life. I will be happier if you both come together. I want to dance at your wedding, Randeep.” That made Randeep smile again.

Randeep saw that Smruti was already seated on the table. “Let’s go in. She is waiting for us.” He turned his back to go in. Samrat suddenly said, “Randeep”.

Randeep turned back.

Samrat had a smile on his face. “What happened?” Randeep asked him.

Samrat came near and hugged Randeep. “I love you for what you are. Please forgive me for not loving you back the way you loved me.” Samrat whispered in Randeep’s ears. They met eyes and exchanged a glance. Samrat left to go inside. Randeep stood there. Tears sparkled in his eyes.

On the table, they finally cut the cake. Smruti smeared half of the cake on Samrat’s and Randeep’s faces. “Oh, wait. Taste this cake now.” Samrat smeared the cake back on her face too.

Their phones had switched off due to zero battery. Smruti wanted to click a snap of them together. She wanted to capture those moments. “I just want to pause this moment here. Is there anything you can do for it, Sally?” Samrat smiled and the three of them held each other.

The night ceased to end for them. Life is all about the moments which we live in. They were celebrating those moments. They were celebrating life.

They left for home together. Samrat’s return had brought a cheer in their lives. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. Tonight, Samrat urged Smruti and Randeep to open a new page and a new chapter together. He wanted to see them, Smruti and Randeep, together. Every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around. Smruti’s return to India, she meeting Randeep, Randeep revealing his feelings to her and their meeting Samrat...the moments may be entirely coincidental. But they did turn around the situations. They made an impact on their lives.

The night was less darker than before to give way to a pleasant morning of the next day. But the night was special...very very special. 

The darkness was not yet over in their lives.

The Salamander Factor - Part 3

“I loved him. But I don’t know why and how.”

Randeep spoke as he and Smruti were walking along the silent roads of Bandra Bandstand. The sea was silent today. Even the waves are listening to me tonight, thought Randeep. The road was less crowded by then. It was 11.30 pm in the clock. Randeep and Smruti were walking on the wide road in front of the sea. The air was tensed for Randeep as he was revealing the truth to Smruti. Smruti was simply listening and not asking any questions. She was trying not to overthink about the things Randeep was telling her.

“You may call it bisexuality. I have no justification for it. But I had loved him. I had told him about it during the final year of our studies. We had played a football match and I had defeated him. After the match, we had gone to the Café Coffee Day which is just in front of the ground at Churchgate. He had listened to me. He was shocked but he was trying to look relaxed. After I told him, he hugged me and left the CCD. Later that night, he had messaged me. I am sorry. I am not attracted to guys. I hope you understand. And I will make an attempt to understand you.”

Smruti smiled. She knew that Samrat was never attracted to guys. But she wasn’t convinced about many things. Hence, she kept silent.

“After that day, he never made me feel that there is any tension between me and him. He was the same Sally that I knew before I told him about my feelings. I am sure even you must not have noticed any change in our interactions.”

Randeep continued. His eyes were sparkling with memories. “I enjoyed the moments when I was with him. But it was never more than my love for you.”

Smruti was listening with whole of her mind and heart.

“At times, I felt suffocated. He used to avoid the topic. But it didn’t change my feelings for him. I never understood why I loved him. May be because he was a charmer but yet an introvert. May be because he was smart and the most lovable person. May be because he took care of my feelings and never let his ego hurt me or even, you, for that matter. May be because he was genuine and true to us and all the people he loved. May be because he lived his life the way he want and never ran behind the materialistic pleasures. May be because he loved himself. I don’t know. Really I don’t know. But the attraction was of pure love. It wasn’t a sexual feeling. It was just that I loved being with him and his presence made me feel good. He personified positivity and ambitiousness. He was a dreamer. He wanted to explore the world. He wanted to meet a new person every day but never made friends with them. Friendship was a very special thing for him. He loved being alone. He was, perhaps, a different kind of introvert I have seen. He wanted us to be together. Yes, he knew that I loved you.”

Smruti looked at him. But she kept silent and walking.

“He made me dream about my passions. He made me realize my talents. One day, I remember, I was very upset because I had flunked in behavioral psychology. Do you remember that phase? I had decided to give up medicine completely. It wasn’t working out for me. When I had told him about it, he took me to Panthky Agairy, an old age and underprivileged children’s home.

Look at these children, Randeep. There is no one to take care of them. These old people, look at them. They don’t even have enough money to get treated. By God’s grace, you have lovable parents. And they are financially strong too. You can work for these people after becoming a doctor. Don’t just give up on your dreams. Look at the bigger picture. Failures are detrimental to achieve success. You win some, you lose some. You will never win all the football matches which we play. But does it stop us from playing football? Life is like that. Follow your passions. You have to accept your failures, not rest on your laurels, let your feet be grounded and keep walking. Enjoy the journey. Success will be yours.

I still remember his calm face when he had told me about it. Then he cracked some joke and made me laugh. That is Samrat. I loved him for it.”

Smruti was silently listening.

“I also knew the fact there is no meaning to this love. One-sided love. He never resisted my feelings or avoided me in anyway. Sometimes, I used to flirt with him, shower him with compliments. He deserved every bit of it though. He used to simply smile and keep quiet. The best feeling in the word is to see someone’s smile and know that you were the reason. His smile always made me feel good.”

“But as I said, he never avoided me. At times, he used to avoid the eye contact. Yes. He used to avoid the eye contact. But I never understood the reason behind it. There are two types of people who can’t look at you in the eyes. One is someone who is trying to hide a lie; the other one is someone who is trying to hide love. Well, I don’t know.” Randeep was feeling better than before now after expressing himself.

They had now walked past huge coconut trees, restaurants which were now getting shut and families with their children, young couples, and group of friends returning home from Bandstand. But the surroundings were still colorful. The roads were getting deserted. The temperature began to drop. And the sea seemed to have become a bit violent now. The waves were making noise loud enough to catch Randeep’s and Smruti’s attention.

“I often felt that I should just go away from your and Samrat’s life. All the equations would have been solved then. But before I leave, he only left us.” Randeep said and stopped walking. He kept looking at the sea.

Smruti was inundated with several thoughts. The mind was directionless. She was finding it difficult to analyze these equations. She then smiled, to get out some of the emptiness. Everything would be easier that way.

“Relationships are so intricate, Randeep. Look at this sea. It is very true to itself. And gets what it wants. Why don’t we get what we want?” Smruti spoke calmly.

Randeep looked at her.

“Love is by far the most destructive thing that can happen to mankind. I am not sure whether Samrat loved me or you. But I feel he wanted us to be happy. He spread happiness.”

She further said, “I never had the guts to tell him that I loved him. It would have spoilt our friendship. But I never knew about your part of the story. And I feel bad for my behavior. I never gave you an opportunity to express yourself.”

Randeep felt that it was the right time to ask her. “If I may ask, have you ever felt the same feelings for me?”

She smiled and laughed, wholeheartedly. “Randeep,” she took a deep breathe, “I am clueless about love now. After Samrat went away from our lives, I was broken into pieces. I was also broken that day when I first came to know about your feelings for Samrat.”

It was a Valentine’s  Day and Smruti gave a surprise visit to Randeep’s house with flower in her hands. She had planned to visit Samrat’s house along with Randeep. The door of Randeep’s bedroom was open. She went inside and saw a bouquet of red roses. There was a letter beneath written with a neat handwriting.

Dear Sally,

I really don’t need a special day to express my feelings for you. I just want to say, thank you. Thank you for accepting me as a friend even after knowing everything about my feelings for you. Thank you for being with me when the times were difficult and things were messed up. Thank you for keeping this friendship alive. When I talk to you, I am happy. Because you listen, and my words find a home. You have given me all the happiness I wanted by your mere presence in my life.

I don’t believe in reincarnation. But if I get another birth, I won’t be able to stay away from you then.

Thank you. I love you very much. Always.

Happy Valentine’s day!

Randeep

Smruti read the letter twice. She was numbed for sometime after reading it. And the memory about those moments now benumbs her mind again.

“I don’t know whether I can have the same feelings for you. You are a wonderful man, Randeep. But I am not sure whether it can work out. The feeling of you in love with another man breaks me. And more than him being a man, I cannot share the love which I deserve with anyone else.”

The waves were making louder noise now. The air currents became stronger. The trees were dancing and the winds were blowing to and fro.

“Strange weather,” Randeep said. “We should leave now. I feel it may rain.”

All strange things are happening today, Smruti thought. “Okay. Let’s go.” She said.

They turned back and came walking on the road. Randeep starting looking out for rickshaws but couldn’t find them. The road was deserted.

Suddenly Smruti saw someone walking towards them from far distance. Randeep saw that person too. He was a man draped in a black jacket. They couldn’t recognize him from the distance. But he kept walking towards them.

As he came closer, Smruti was swept off her feet. “He is Sally! Our Salamander.” She screamed on top of her voice. “Randeep, he is our Samrat!”

Randeep couldn’t believe that he was Samrat. Smruti ran towards Samrat’s direction. Randeep stood there itself. Still. Emotionless.

Smruti and Samrat came closer and stopped at a distance. Tears rolled down her face as she saw him. Samrat was looking fresh and there was a pleasant smile on his face.

The last firework of the Diwali night burst out in the sky, spreading color and cheer and liveliness.

The Salamander Factor - Part 2

“Hello sir. What shall I get for you? “

The waiter asked in a loud voice. And this time Randeep heard it and kept his thoughts aside for a moment. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he could not listen to the waiter at all.

“Nothing for now. I am waiting for someone. I will order when I am ready. “

“Okay, sure Sir. “ The waiter left. Randeep went back to his own world of thoughts. The plethora of thoughts was invading his mind. It was inevitable fact that he still loves Smruti. There is not even an iota of change in his feelings for her. But there are lots of things which have changed during the last two years. He had made several attempts to reach up to Smruti in Denver. But she never responded back to him. All his mails, messages, answering machine notes were left unanswered. The lack of acknowledgement from her made his life miserable. He could not focus on his own medical practice in Mumbai.

Randeep was always the brightest lad amongst the three. Smruti, Samrat and Randeep studied together in the same batch during their undergraduate medicine days. Randeep used to excel in his academics and was pretty good in extracurricular activities as well. Randeep had a great financial support from his family as his father and mother both were established doctors. Hence, it was easier for Randeep to start his own medical practice immediately after his M.B.B.S. graduate degree. In spite of being a bright student, he was never inclined to study further.

It was not a rocket science to understand that why guys fell in love of Smruti. She was undoubtedly one of the good looking and intelligent girls in the entire college. Beauty with brains, Samrat used to call her. She had beautiful grey eyes and a fair skin. Her smile was as infectious as her eyes. Randeep was fair too. He was like those tall and handsome guys a lady would aspire for. Together Randeep and Smruti looked a cute pair. Randeep was attracted to her since the day he met her in the college lab. He remembered how beautiful she was looking even after getting tired by a day long work of assignments and lectures. He had asked her for a book of general physiotherapy which she had bought. She had readily agreed to lend him to read it. Since that day, they remained in touch and went on to become good friends.

Samrat came into their life only after few months. He used to keep it to himself and not socialize much. He had hardly made any friends in the initial few days. He met Smruti and Randeep once when they were solving an assignment in the library and Samrat was searching for a book which he was unable to find for a long time. Randeep saw that Samrat was struggling to find a book in the psychiatry section. So he thought of helping him out. He found him becoming restless.

“Excuse me, may I know which book you are searching for? “ Randeep had asked him.

“The modern day psychiatry. Do you have any idea where would it be? I cannot find a single copy. “

“Oh. Yes. I have issued one copy. And there was only one remaining. You can take my copy for now. “

 

“Well, that is so kind of you. I shall take it once you are done with it. There is no urgency. “ Samrat instantly liked Randeep.

“I am anyway not reading it for some time now. Feel free to ask it from me anytime. By the way, I am Randeep Singh. “

“Thank you so much. This is Samrat Shah. “ Both shook hands with a smile on their faces.

Smruti was hearing this conversation. Randeep looked at her and introduced Samrat to Smruti.

“Hi, Samrat Shah here. Nice to meet you. “

“Smruti Joshi here. Nice to meet you too. “ They had a handshake and bit longer glance at each other. Samrat kept looking at Smruti’s beautiful face and deep grey eyes. Somehow, he could feel an instant connect. Smruti could not take her eyes off him too. She was enamored by the way Samrat spoke and introduced himself.

“Why don’t we go for some coffee? It is anyway getting very boring here. “ Randeep broke the ice and they went to the nearest coffee shop. That heralded the beginning of a new intricate relationship.

Smruti walked in front of Randeep and once again, he was taken back to reality. This time, however, he was happy to come back as he saw Smruti in front of him. The restaurant was not crowded and there was a chill in the air. It was a Diwali night and the fireworks were still making noise outside. Smruti looked at Randeep and gave him a brief smile. Randeep came ahead and gave her a hug. Smruti, however, hugged him a bit reluctantly.

“Happy Diwali “ Randeep greeted her.

“Happy Diwali to you too. “

“Please have seat. “

“Thank you. I am sorry. There was a lot of traffic on the roads today. “ She spoke as she seated in front of him.

“It’s okay. “ He kept looking at her. He could not believe that Smruti is sitting in front of him. He was literally awestruck. “I should thank you for making out time to meet me. “

She smiled back.

“What will you like to eat?“ Randeep.

“Just coffee.“ Smruti. Randeep ordered two Hot Cappuaccino coffee. She loved Cappuccino. She observed that Randeep still remember her likes.

“How are you? How have you been? “ Randeep asked her.

“Extremely well. How about you? “

“Not really good. So many things have happened since a couple of years. But, professionally, things are pretty good. “

“Glad to hear that. “ Smruti kept a calm face. She was not willing to express a lot in front of him. He looked still the same, she thought. But she found a slight discomfort in the air between them. “Tell me. What is it? Why did you want to meet me? “ She got to the point.

“Smruti, firstly, you never gave me an opportunity to explain anything. You just left me and Samrat here. Did it never concern you to understand our part of the story as well? “

Suddenly, the past flickered in front of her eyes. The night seemed very dark then. Smruti refused to go back and think about those moments. But she could not avoid the thoughts.

“Randeep“, she paused and spoke, “There is nothing left to be said now. My existence in your lives had no value. I was in dark and unaware of a whole new world which was never presented in front of me. “ She decided to speak more. “I know I never gave you or Samrat the opportunity to explain yourselves. But I was broken that day, if you remember. The world fell apart and a part of me died. I had never imagined that you both could hide such a big thing from me. “

Randeep kept looking at her, flabbergasted by her words. But he was expecting her to open up her mind and speak. He was expecting her to slap him and abuse and hurt him with words. But she was still calm and composed. Much like Samrat, he thought.

“Look. Bygones are bygones. Things have changed now. I understand things better now and I have accepted everything. But the fact remains that the friendship between the three of us doesn’t exist anymore. And I really do not think that we should make an attempt to recreate those equations. “ Smruti was spoke sternly.

“No. The fact is, “ Randeep gathered all his wits to say. “that I still love you. I loved you then too. Believe me. “

Smruti stared him blank. She knew there was no meaning to this conversation. But somehow, she felt that Randeep was speaking from whole of his heart.

“It is a complex thing. You are a psychiatrist now. You know things better. But just trust me, I have always loved you. I had never envisaged my life with anyone other than you. “

The words made her feel good. I should not find solace in these words, she thought. But she felt better. She missed Samrat even more.  She never loved Randeep to the extent Randeep loved her. She enjoyed the attention and the care but never found her soul mate in Randeep.

He touched her hands. It is insane, she thought. How is it possible now? Smruti was trying to find out what were the real thoughts going on in Randeep’s mind. But all she could observe was his love for her.

She was transferred in her thoughts back to their graduation day. Samrat had some urgent work and could not join her and Randeep after the graduation ceremony. They had planned a celebration at Randeep’s place. But Smruti was upset that Samrat couldn’t attend it. Randeep, however, felt really happy for the fact that he was now getting some private time to spend with her. After the dinner, they were seated on the sofa and kept talking to each other. Most of their talks revolved around Samrat. She was clearly missing him. Randeep tried his best to keep her engaged in the moment. She was looking absolutely gorgeous and beautiful. Randeep kept looking at her for most of the time. She noticed it and blushed. Randeep went ahead and kissed her. This was the first time that he had kissed her. She was reluctant. She knew that Randeep used to like her. But she never reciprocated the same to him.

She became calm and suddenly got up to leave the house. Randeep didn’t say anything. He felt bad that she didn’t kiss him back. He felt that she never loved him. And he felt alone all of a sudden.

There was an absolute silence in the room. She reached up to her mobile phone and found five missed calls from Samrat. She was unable to comprehend the moment. Randeep was in complete awe of her, she could realize it. But the more she thought about it, the more she missed Samrat.

“Smruti, are you listening? What happened? “ Randeep asked her. She came back to reality from her thoughts. “Nothing. “ She took a pause and spoke calmly. “What was that unusual thing you were talking about? “ 

“Oh, yes. Read this. “ He handed her his mobile phone to show a message. “I called on the number but no one is picking up. I have called almost a thousand times on this number today. No one is answering the call. The number belongs to Mumbai. “ Randeep had an anxious look on his face. He was shocked and at the same time, surprised too, to read the message when he read it for the first time.

The night sky made the noise again. The festival of Diwali spread the cheer in the air. Smruti was blank as she read the message. She couldn’t believe what she read.

Both kept looking at each other.

The message was, “Hey, I am back. Salamander. “

The Salamander Factor - Part 1

She wandered around to see if she could find any further trace of him. The air in the room was familiar to her. The table and the chair reminded her about the endless conversations they had. Those agreements and disagreements along with a cup of coffee; she remembered all. One day, she remembered, he was very angry because she had canceled a movie outing at the last moment. He had avoided her calls and messages then. Finally, she had turned up at his house and in his bedroom, found him seated on the chair with a cup of coffee in his hand. He was looking out of the window and the day light shone on his face. Without even looking at her, he asked the maid to bring another cup of coffee. And she had a smile on her face.

Back there, in Denver, Smruti missed him a lot. Smruti had studied medicine and specialized in Psychiatry. After her post-graduation, she had practiced medicine for a couple of years in Denver. During this time, she distanced herself from him and Randeep. Today, after almost two years, Smruti was back in Mumbai.

There was a book shelf just opposite to his bed. She glanced through the myriad collection of books he had. He had often found solace in the books. During their first year in college together, she remembered, he had no money and wanted to buy the Ruskin Bond collection he had found in a bookstore. He went to a nearest McDonalds store and asked them if they can employ him for a week or so. Somehow he never felt comfortable asking for money from the people. Not even from his parents. The very next week, he earned enough to buy the Ruskin Bond collection and felt top of the world. He found happiness in such small yet priceless moments.

The expression of feelings was, by far, one of the most challenging aspects of human psychology. According to her, he had never expressed himself wholeheartedly in front of her. Even the psychiatrist in her was not able to gauge his true feelings. However, somehow, she had loved him along with the ambiguity in him.

He loved painting. There was one of his favorite works hanging on the wall opposite to the book shelf. He had drawn it in less than an hour. The painting today was as fresh and appealing to her as it was before she left for Denver. It was an abstract work which she never understood. But he had explained the hidden essence of the painting to her passionately for quite a long time. She had disagreed on many points and he had negated all her disagreements. At the end of every conversation, once she felt he was successful in convincing her, she used to smile. He used to smile too. And then he used to hug her tight.

She could find him everywhere in the room. She could feel his presence.

And there was a knock on the door. Samrat's mother, Nitisha Aunty, came inside the room with a plate full of Diwali sweets and coffee in her hands.

"Please have some sweets, dear. Sit and relax."

"Thank you, Aunty. I think I should leave."

Nitisha Aunty wanted Smruti to wait for some more time. "Smruti, you have visited this house after almost two years. Be with me for some more time, dear. Have these sweets." She kept the tray of sweets on the table. "How are Babita and Ramesh?" Babita and Ramesh Joshi were Smruti's parents.

"They are good, Aunty." She sat down on the chair. Suddenly, she missed Samrat even more. "Aunty, can I ask you something?"

"Feel free to ask anything, dear."

"Uncle is always out of Mumbai. Don't you feel alone at home?"

Nitisha had a calm face. "I am used to solitude now. I find happiness in it. Look at this room. His memories are enough for me to survive." There was an inherent sadness on her face. May be she felt helpless for that fact that she could not find her son back. She left the room and Smruti felt a vacuum in the air.

That very moment, Smruti's phone rang. She read the name of the caller. Randeep. She felt the sudden urge to disconnect the call. But somehow she did not.

"Hello."

Her sweet voice was still the same for Randeep. He felt like top of the world on hearing her voice. "Hey Smruti. How are you?"

"I am a bit busy. Can I call you later?"

"Sure. But do call. I want to meet you." Randeep.

"I am not sure that I will be able to meet you." The idea of meeting Randeep almost spoiled her mood.

"Smruti, please try to understand me. Meet me for once. I want to clarify certain things. Moreover, something unusual happened today. I cannot help but share it with you."

"What happened?"

"I will tell you when we meet. Try to meet me tonight itself. It is very urgent."

Smruti disconnected the call. Why does he want to meet me? Is it the same old thing? And what is the unusual thing is he talking about? The most unusual thing, perhaps, was the fact that she had come back to Samrat's house after two years and Samrat was not present to welcome her.

Randeep very well knew that Smruti will meet him today. The excitement was evident on his face. The things, however, had changed now. The dynamics of the equations with each other had changed too. And then there was no Samrat with them today.

He kept waiting for her call.

Samrat had called her for the last time somewhere during the month of May when she was in Denver. She was busy and had missed his call. He had left a message on the answering machine.

Hey, your Sally here. How are you, sexy? Hope you are doing well. The big shit doctor you have become. I am sure you will not have any time for me anymore. No worries. How is your practice? Treat me someday. I need your treatment more than anyone else. I remember our debate on the principles and boldness of Howard Roark of The Fountainhead. I still win that debate, doctorsahab. I still stand by Roark. And you may continue to disagree with me. I saw your new photograph which you have uploaded on Facebook. I guess you have put on weight. You still look beautiful though. Anyway, I am leaving for a world tour tonight. Do not ask for the details. I will not give you. And I may not be reachable on this number. Just do not get irritated by that. I will surely meet you some day. Take care, baby. Stay strong. And meet Randeep once you are here. He loves you a lot. For once, just trust me on that. Okay, bye. Take care.

Samrat's location was unknown since that day. He had never returned back to his home. Not even a call to his parents. Samrat's father, Ramesh Shah had sought police help in the city to find him. There were newspaper advertisements as well to search him. In spite of several attempts, there was not even a single trace of him till date.

It was the festival of Diwali and she could hear fireworks outside. She glanced out of the window and saw the beautiful night sky. The sky was colorful and full of noise with fire-crackers. The city of Mumbai was full of lights and energy. Diwali time was one of those special moments when the city became very lively, energetic and happy. If not really happy, the people pretended to be happy.

But the conversation with Randeep had disturbed the resonance of her thoughts. She took her purse and headed towards the door to leave.

There was a table just beside the door. A white paper kept on the table caught her attention. The word written on it made no sense to her. But it was Samrat's handwriting, she realized. Strange, she thought.

And a loud firework made noise and spread colors in the sky. She kept on wondering about the word. She stared outside the window and again at the word. The fireworks did not stop; nor did her thoughts. On the paper, it was written in black ink. Salamander.

The Catalogue - Part 4

The doorbell rang.

Rhea was having her breakfast. Generally, she and Nishigandha had their breakfast together. But that day, Nishigandha was a bit late. With a cup of tea in her hand and taking a sip of it, Rhea opened the door. It was Devarsh. Rhea did not recognize him but she had heard about him from Nishigandha.

‘Hello. Good morning. I…I am Devarsh. Nishi and I work together at Sunrise.’

‘Oh. Hello! Please do come in.’ Rhea let him inside. ‘Would you have some tea or coffee?’

‘No. Thanks.’ Devarsh sat in the couch in a bit hesitant way. ‘I just had my breakfast. Actually, Nishi is not picking up her phone and we had planned that we would go to office together today.’

‘Oh My God! Let me first check whether she is ready or not. I will bring you some water.’ Rhea went inside to call Nishi. And there she saw Nishi all ready for the day.

‘Someone seems to be very happy today, huh!’ Rhea said as Nishi was getting all decked up in front of the mirror.

Nishi laughed and said, ‘I knew he would come upstairs. Actually I got late yaar. Hence I could not attend his calls. And here he is.’

‘Yes. Yes. I understand.’ Rhea said while Nishi turned back and looked at her. ‘Oh c’mon! No Rhea! He is just a friend.’

‘Wonderful! So he is no more just a colleague, huh? That day you told me that he was a colleague. Well, let me know if you are thinking of promoting him further.’ Rhea kept her teasing act on.

‘Oh! Sure. You are an official match making professional, right? But madam, hold on. There is no assignment for you yet.’ Nishi hugged her and left the room.

While on Devarsh’s bike, Nishi asked him, ‘What was it so important to talk that you messaged me at 3 in the morning?’

Devarsh had messaged her. Nishi, let us go together to the office today. I have something to tell you. May be I will not be able to tell you in the office. I will pick you up at 8.30am. Be ready. See you.

He stopped the bike near a footpath. Nishi could see that he was sweating.

‘Hey, relax. Look at you. Have some water.’ She took the bottle full of cold water from her bag and gave it to him. He drank all the water. Nishi could almost hear his heartbeats. His face was a bit horrified. He was not looking at her eyes but making a constant effort to say something.

Finally he said. ‘I have to tell you something about our office.’

‘What?’

‘I don’t know how to say. But this is dangerous.’

‘Devarsh, can you please get to the point? Just relax and tell me.’

‘Well last year, that is in December 2011, an inhuman incident happened at our office. Have you heard someone by name Pooja Mehta?’

‘Well, not exactly. But somehow I feel I have heard this name.’ She paused for a while. ‘No, Devarsh. I am not able to recollect where I have heard her name. But what about her?’

‘She was raped and murdered in our office by someone from our office.’

‘What?’ Nishi’s face turned red and horrified. ‘What are you saying? And how do you know about it?’

‘Last Saturday, I got a very weird dream. There was a lady but her face was not visible. She was telling me. 

I have been raped and murdered at Sunrise on the 31^st of last December. When all others were enjoying the new year night, I was being assaulted and killed. Can you please help me in punishing the people behind it? I beg you. Please help. They raped me and killed me there. Please help.

I woke up soon after. It was around 2.30 in the clock. Well, at first I thought it was a nightmare. I spent the entire weekend thinking about it. The lady’s voice was quivering. It seemed to be real to me. Her words seemed to be genuine. But I tried to explain myself every time that it was nothing more than a nightmare. And the weekend passed away.

On Monday, I tried to access our directory website. Can you believe this? I found her name in the employee directory. Pooja Mehta.’

Nishi had an extremely calm look on her face.

Devarsh went on. ‘I know Simi from HR. We studied together in school. I met her in the cafeteria and asked her if she could find out some general details of Pooja Mehta. The same evening, she called me and told me that Pooja Mehta is an ex-employee of Sunrise and resigned from her services on December 10, 2011. And that was all she could tell me. She had no more specific details except her department and employee ID.’

Nishi still maintained the calm look.

‘I could not reach Simi at office as she was very busy. You know Nishi, I am not able to sleep at nights. This thing is bothering me. Especially, after I got to know that a woman with the name Pooja Mehta worked at our office. Why will someone with the same name come in my dreams?

I feel that this might be real. I am very confused yaar.’

He looked at her. Seeing her so calm, he said, ‘Please say something yaar.’

Suddenly, Nishi burst into a big laughter. She was laughing continuously like mad. Devarsh just kept looking at her. And Nishi was laughing and laughing.

‘Oh my! What to say Devarsh?! You are simply mad.’

‘So you think all this is a joke. I am doing timepass. Isn’t it?’

Seeing him getting disappointed, Nishi said, ‘Hey, no. I did not mean that. I am not saying that this is a joke. But see, it might be just a nightmare. Or are you sure you were sleeping that night? May be somebody might have played a prank on you.’

‘No. I am pretty sure I was sleeping and I saw that dream. I am not mad to get so bothered.’

‘Then maybe you must have read her name somewhere that day and you heard her in your dreams. It does happen sometimes. The things which we see or hear during the day make an appearance in our dreams when we sleep at night, especially when we are in a deep sleep.’

She tried to calm him. ‘See, calm down. Do not tell about it to anyone. Or you know how people are. They will term you mad. Just stop thinking about all these things. And anyway, such things do not go unnoticed. If such an incident really happened then it would have been a big news. C’mon, it is Sunrise Technologies man!

Just stop thinking about it now. Let us leave. We are already late.’

Devarsh was not convinced. But somehow he tried to show a relaxed expression on his face.

During the lunch time, Nishi was thinking about this morning incident. She could not control her laughter. Radhika, her senior team-mate and she were having lunch together.

‘Hey, what happened? Radhika asked her as she saw Nishi giggling.

‘No. Nothing. Just remembered a funny incident that happened in the morning.’

‘Oh! What was so funny?’

Nishi tried to change the topic and saw Dia coming towards their direction.

‘Hey, Nishi! How are you?’ Dia had applied a lot of make-up that day and Nishi and Radhika could not ignore it. They looked at each other and smiled.

‘I am good Dia. How about you?’ Nishi said.

‘Yes. I am good too. So when are you leaving for New York?’

Nishi knew that Dia would ask her something about New York. She was already very jealous about Nishi’s onsite tour. Dia had joined Sunrise along with Devarsh and Nishi in their graduates’ batch.

‘Well, I am not yet sure. But…’ Nishi was interrupted by Radhika.

‘Next month.’ Radhika filled in the words. Suddenly Dia felt Radhika’s presence and the fact that Nishi was having her lunch with her senior team mate.

‘Oh I am so sorry. Dia, she is Radhika from my team.’ And looking at Radhika, she said, ‘Radhika, she is Dia, we joined together.’

‘Nice to meet you Radhika. Well, Nishi, I would go now. I have to attend a meeting. My team lead is already in a bad mood since morning. See you people. Bye.’ And she went away.

Nishi smiled at Radhika. ‘How do you know that it is next month?’

‘You mean your onsite tour? Well, I had a talk with Singhania this morning.’ Singhania was their Project Manager. ‘He told me that you and Mohit would be leaving for New York in the middle of next month.’

‘That’s nice.’ Nishi smiled.

As she came back to her desk, she got a message on their office messenger from Mohit.

Mohit said: Busy?

Me: No. Why?

Mohit: Can we discuss our travel’s preparations for a while?

Nishi was surprised. The guy who gave her inferior looks the other day was trying to strike out a conversation. Moreover, Nishi was looking really good that day. Thanks to Rhea and her expert guidance, she had started visiting beauty parlors. Nishi inherently looked beautiful, even better than Dia and many of her female office mates. But since everyone knew that Nishi is not originally from Mumbai and from a village of Maharashtra, people started having notions about her. Especially Mohit. But that day was different.

Me: Alright.

Mohit: Ok. Meet me at the couch.

He brought coffee along. And both sat down on the couch. ‘Do you always have coffee after the lunch?’ Nishi asked him.

‘Well, yes. Or else I would just doze off on my desk.’ Both had a brief laugh. Nishi observed that Mohit was behaving really nicely and in a very ‘gentleman’ way with her. Mohit, anyway, looked good and handsome but he had this unnecessary pride about his looks and personality. Surprisingly, that day, he was in a very good mood.

‘Let us get to the point. Well, I have to do a lot of shopping for NYC. Have you done yours?’ He asked.

‘No! Not at all. ‘ She said.

‘Hmm. If you don’t mind then let us go for it this weekend? May be on the evening of Saturday. What do you say?’

She pretended that she was thinking about her Saturday’s plans but in a corner of mind, she was trying to judge what can be the motive behind this gesture!

‘Well yes. I think I am free. But will it be fine if I confirm by Friday evening? I will text you.’

‘Alright. No problems. Since we are going together to NYC, we can jot down the things which we can shop and complete the shopping together that very day.’

‘Yes. That would be better.’

‘Ok. Let me know. I will go on my desk now. There is a meeting with Prakash in a hour.’ Prakash was their Team Lead.

‘Yes, sure.’ Mohit stood up and went away. Nishi kept sitting on the couch. From the location of the couch, Devarsh’s desk was visible. She saw him. He was looking at his computer screen.

It reminded her of the morning ride on his bike and the conversation with him. What a start of the day it was! And she kept thinking and looking at him.